Culture

Imagined Conversations with Sweden

If you’ve ever had the urge to pick up the phone and call Sweden, your time has come! There is now a hotline on which you can talk to a “random Swede.” The number is: +46 771 SWEDEN (written in all numbers, it’s +46 771 793 336).

What will you talk about? What WON’T you talk about?! But probably Alexander Skarsgård, mostly, right? Yeah, us too.

Here’s how we imagine this all playing out.

– – – –

SWEDEN: Hej, you’ve reached Sweden!
ME: Hi! I’d like to speak with Alexander Skarsgård please.
SWEDEN: Sorry, he’s on another call. Can I take a message?
ME: IS IT ANOTHER GIRL? I’M COMING OVER THERE. (Hangs up)

– – – –

SWEDEN: Hej, this is Sweden!
DENMARK: Hello Sweden, I was wondering, is Maja there?
SWEDEN: Maja? Let me check. Maja who?
DENMARK: Her surname is Normusbutt.
SWEDEN: Sure, I’ll ask! (Calls out) Has anyone seen Maja Normusbutt?! (Pause) Anyone? I’m talking about Maja Normusbutt! (Pause) DENMARK I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!

– – – –

SWEDEN: Hej, you’re talking to Sweden!
DIANE FROM AT & T WIRELESS: Hello! I was wondering if I could speak to the decision maker in the home?
SWEDEN: Ja, that is me.
DIANE FROM AT & T WIRELESS: Fabulous! This is Diane calling from AT&T Wireless. Are you satisfied with your current cellular and long-distance service?
SWEDEN: Diane, you know what, we’re right in the middle of our dinner of marinated herring…

– – – –

Swedish Text Message-2
 

Have something you’d like to say to Sweden? Give ’em a call! Or tell us what you’d say (Simpsons-themed prank calls included) in the comments.

 
Swedish-Number
 

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Rebecca Thandi Norman

Rebecca Thandi Norman is a co-founder and Editor-in-Chief at Scandinavia Standard.